Chicken Chow Mein Fakeaway

This chow mein doesn’t imitate your local — it obliterates it. Glossy, smoky, loaded with slick noodles and tender chicken, all firing off with garlic, soy, and wok char. It’s chewy, saucy, and umami-stacked. The veg snaps, the noodles bite, and the flavour hits like a late-night craving finally answered. You get the heat, the speed, the sizzle — without the grease trap or the wait. Every toss in the wok builds another layer of flavour. This isn’t fakeaway — it’s takeover. It’s hotter, fresher, and faster than anything in a plastic tub. Cook it once and you’ll never look back.

Ingredients

Serves 2

150g dried egg noodles 200g chicken breast, thinly sliced 1 tsp light soy sauce (for marinade) 1 tsp cornflour Dash of sesame oil 1 tbsp neutral oil (vegetable or groundnut) 1 medium onion, sliced 1 handful shredded cabbage 1 medium carrot, julienned 1 tbsp dark soy sauce 1 tbsp oyster sauce Pinch white pepper

Equipment needed

Large pot for noodles Sieve or colander Sharp knife and chopping board Mixing bowl Wok or large non-stick frying pan Tongs or heatproof spatula

Step-by-step method

1. Cook the noodles.

Bring a large pan of water to the boil. Drop in 150g of dried egg noodles and cook for 3 minutes or until tender with bite. Stir once to separate. Immediately drain and rinse under cold water to stop the cooking. This keeps them springy, not soggy. Shake dry and set aside.

2. Marinate the chicken.

Place the thinly sliced chicken breast in a bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of light soy sauce, 1 teaspoon of cornflour, and a dash of sesame oil. Toss to coat every strip. This quick marinade adds flavour and creates that soft, velveted chicken texture when cooked hot.

3. Heat the wok.

Place your wok or frying pan over high heat and leave it until it starts to smoke. Add 1 tablespoon of neutral oil and swirl to coat. You want the surface hot enough to sear fast and hard.

4. Sear the chicken.

Add the marinated chicken in a single layer. Let it sit undisturbed for 60 seconds to form a golden crust, then stir-fry for another 2 minutes until cooked through and lightly charred at the edges. Remove to a clean plate and keep warm.

5. Stir-fry the veg.

In the same wok, add a little more oil if needed. Throw in the sliced onion, shredded cabbage, and julienned carrot. Stir-fry quickly for 2 minutes until vibrant, slightly softened but still crisp. Work fast — this is all about heat and movement.

6. Return the chicken.

Add the seared chicken back into the wok. Stir everything together — juices, char, and veg all need to blend before the noodles go in.

7. Add the noodles and sauce.

Toss in the cooled, drained noodles. Splash in 1 tablespoon of dark soy, 1 tablespoon of oyster sauce, and a pinch of white pepper. Stir-fry hard for another minute. Use tongs or a spatula to lift and toss the noodles high, coating everything in sauce and catching that wok heat.

8. Finish strong.

Once everything’s hot, slick, and smoky, kill the heat. The noodles should be glossy, the veg still bright, and the chicken juicy. Don’t let it dry out — serve fast and fresh.

Serving tips

Serve straight from the wok into warm bowls. Top with sliced spring onion or toasted sesame seeds for crunch. Want heat? A drizzle of chilli oil or a spoonful of crispy chilli in oil goes nuclear. Pair with cold beer, sparkling water, or iced green tea. Got leftovers? Fry an egg and throw it on top the next day — breakfast sorted.

Chef’s notes

Noodles matter. Use medium egg noodles — not vermicelli, not ramen. Dried noodles work best here. Boil, rinse cold, and let them sit for 5–10 minutes to dry slightly before stir-frying.

Chicken cut right. Slice across the grain into thin strips for quick, even cooking. Breast works well here for clean flavour, but thighs add richness if you want it darker.

High heat only. Wok cooking is fast and furious. Preheat the pan properly or you’ll steam instead of sear. If your hob’s weak, cook in smaller batches to maintain heat.

Marinade magic. The cornflour locks in the moisture and helps the soy cling. Don’t skip it — it’s the backbone of that takeaway texture.

Mix it up. Add bean sprouts, pak choi, or sliced peppers if you want more veg. Prawns or tofu make great swaps for the chicken. Going vegetarian? Replace oyster sauce with mushroom sauce or hoisin.

Batch prepping? Slice all veg and meat in advance. Par-boil noodles and toss with oil to prevent sticking. The actual cook takes under 10 minutes — be ready before the heat hits.

Final thought

This chow mein isn’t about convenience. It’s about control. It’s heat, speed, and precision locked into a bowl. No plastic containers. No MSG fog. No waiting. Just glossy, smoky, sizzling noodles you cooked yourself — louder, hotter, and slicker than any takeaway can handle. When the wok’s this hot, the only thing fake is pretending you’ll save some for later.

Health stats (per serving)

Each serving comes in around 2,150kJ (515kcal), with 18g of fat, 3.5g saturates, 4g of sugars, and 1.9g of salt. You’ll also get 44g of carbohydrates, 31g of protein, and 4.2g of fibre — a balanced, protein-rich meal that fuels hard without feeling heavy.

Disclaimer

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